Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
