Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Did we literally take a cab across the street
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
