Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
