And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
