I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
foreskin is a definite game changer
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
