I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
whose parrot is this?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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