well I can't set my house on fire every night
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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