I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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