i think my mom watched the whole time
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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