i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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