Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
