i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
is it fun? or sober?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
