i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
