What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize