So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
