Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
