Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
