you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
