i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
God I need to hump something, right now.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
