So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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