i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize