She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
