i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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