Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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