so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
