Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
