you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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