mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
