Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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