Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
