Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize