is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
