her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
