Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
