Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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