a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
