my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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