I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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