eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
