found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
