"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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