Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
that may or may not have been my penis.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
