I would go down on you faster than GM stock
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
