Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
