"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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