I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
