when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
