just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
