So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
