He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
