I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she woke up with a sticky ear
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
