Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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