i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
this beer tastes like vomit already
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Randomize
