I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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