You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
