Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
